Lessons from my dad’s brain tumor (part 2)
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It’s about 9 pm on Tuesday night and it feels very important to write this personal note to you.
You see, I just returned home from the hospital after my father got his 8th MRI brain scan to look at the progress of his tumor.
To all of our great satisfaction
There is still no growth from the original scan….
Which in the world of brain cancer is great news, because no growth means no additional reason to worry.
Kind of ironic in the realm of business… right?
But I’m writing you this note, not because it has anything to do with your business, but rather because it has everything to do with your life and your relationships.
Because I’ll be honest…
I never expected this situation to arise.
I never thought my father, one of the world’s leading experts in mind-body medicine, and my greatest teacher, would get a brain tumor.
And I certainly had no clue that my life would change so dramatically in such a short period of time.
Which leads me to my point…
You might have a vision
In your mind about what your life, your business, your health, your relationships, or anything else is supposed to look like.
Which in some ways, is very healthy… To mentally create a picture of your ideal scene.
And on the other hand, it’s possible that your vision of what you “really want” is also preventing you from embracing, acknowledging, or simply enjoying what you already have right now.
How do I know?
Because for most of my life, I am starting to see that I have been that person.
The one who is always seeing that the grass is greener when I get to “the big show.”
I mean look, I’ll be the first to tell you…
I have strong desires.
Ever since I was a little kid, my mom used to look at my Astrological chart (she’s a world-renowned Vedic Astrologer) and tell me that it was one of my blessings and my curses.
I was just hungry to accomplish things in this world… and that desire still burns strongly inside of me to this day (for better or worse).
Yet being with my father as we go through this process together is slowly causing me to shift something in a deep way.
I mean, I still have the somewhat un-controllable passion to “create, create, create!”
But on another side, I’m understanding that this pattern never ends and you can always keep chasing “the next big thing”.
So we might as well begin to appreciate and enjoy what’s happening now rather than postponing to an anticipated future date.
And when I say this shift is happening slowly…
I mean it.
Because here’s the thing.
Each day, we are simultaneously “waiting” to see what’s going to happen next and ALSO doing our best to focus on enjoying what’s happening right now.
We do the best we can. Sometimes it’s incredibly emotional and painful…
… And other times it’s pure bliss.
And there’s not doubt in my mind… when I allow that to truly happen, to embrace and appreciate the good, the bad, and the ugly around what’s happening RIGHT NOW…
I see how divinely perfect it really is.
I’m probably saying this as much for me as I am for you…
No matter what you’re life looks right now; there is perfection in it.
… And see if you can be grateful for whatever it is.
Because we just don’t know how long we’re going to be here for or why any of this is truly happening in the big picture.
None of us know why were are experiencing what we’re experiencing or where it’s ultimately going to lead us…
But we do know that we have a choice, right in this moment, to pause and say: “I’m glad I’m still here.” And everything that’s happening is for my greater good and the greater good of others.
I just don’t understand it yet…
I mean look…
You or someone you love could wake up tomorrow with a brain tumor.
… And everything in your life would change in an instant.
Right?
So rather than waiting for such a radical transformation to occur in such a shocking manner, let’s all do our best to appreciate the good old-fashioned now.
No matter how beautiful or ugly, painful or blissful, abundant or scarce it is…
Because it’s all perfect. It’s all leading to our expansion. And it’s all good.
What do you say… I’ll keep reminding you if this eternal truth if you’ll do me a big favor and return the love in exchange.
Deal?
Please share your thoughts below…
Much love,
P.S. If you want to see the first post and video I created from this whole crazy situation, click here.
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Deal, my friend, breathe space into what is and know that it is for the highest and best…Namaste…
Thank you for sharing who you are and where you are at. You inspire me, my friend!
So Glad to hear about your Dad’s “no growth”. Thanks for a great event at the Affiliate Tribe.
Warmly,
Blair
Max,
Thx for sharing those true thoughts with us. Wishing your father a marvelous and miraculous recovery from the one and only. When that miracle is released, follow your own thoughts and cherish those granted moments with him. Peace and Blessings!
Hi Max:
Thank you very much for this posting and the share. I am very happy about the new results and wish they continue being like that. You are so right and I appreciate so much what you wrote…………Life is amazing and I believe we definitely have to trust what we go through along the life path we are walking knowing as well we have the power of taking our own decisions
TAke care and all the best
Blessings Love Light and Gratitude
to you and your wonderful family
Esther Coronel de Iberkleid
Life Changing Coaching
Hi Max
You packed so much great wisdom and news into your post that I had to re-read it. I am in on your deal to appreciate more of the “good old fashioned now”
and thanks for sharing the good news about your dad. Life is full of blessings!
warmly, Jeanne
So glad that there is no growth. SO GLAD!
And look how much growth there is in other aspects!
And you inspire me to share: I am truly the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. For the first time, my path is CLEAR. I got rid of all of the obligations that didn’t serve me, and I know the steps I need to take to get where I desire most to be. ON STAGE & IN THE STUDIO, SINGING + being heard. Coupled with Empowering people through my powerful Vocal Empowerment Programs.
All that said, I am present to now, and the knowledge that my path may change (for better or for different) at any time, and am prepared to deviate from it, however hard or interesting it may be. Knowing that each moment is what is true.
I am so psyched to be here now. Having experienced all I’ve experienced. Having 2 parents who’ve struggled through and survived cancer. Having toured the country, having lead bands, having had money woes, and now embarking on a powerful solo career with a new-found sense of empowerment & knowledge, the help of esteemed friends, family & team members.
So, thank you for your blog, and for inspiring me to share this.
So glad you are celebrating.
BlesSings,
Ariella
In the famous “word” of one of those famous films – “ditto”
Will wake up to this thought every day.
Sx
Max : It is uplifting to read that you attempt (and succeed)in appreciating what is … even during times of crisis … ( a time where it is even more important to focus on that )
Deal!
I have this driving force also, and just a few weeks ago I realized: I have to go SLOWLY to perfection. I do have the tendency to punish my self for not having achieved my goals. Making “slowly to perfection” as a new goal, is getting me doing the things I love. Then I realized that punishing my self is not taking responsibility for my self. And this is now, as we speak, getting me out of this loop of self destruction. Slowly! As it should be!
I just hired a ghostwriter to write a set of newsletters with me. And we started working, one newsletter at the time. And I feel happy about it!
Hi Max,
Your story has drawn me in and I am glad to here your dad is doing ok. It is amazing what sharing such a personal story can do for others. You are giving us great lessons and a new perspective on how to handle a crisis. I find it very inspiring to see the strength of you and your family and the grace in which you are all handling this. Sending you love and light!
Karin
Hi Max, very happy to hear your dad is stable and that you are taking every day as it comes, trying to appreciate what is there. No mean feat!. It remains surprising how sometimes, regardless of all the information we acquired, meditation we do, books we read etc.. that it still takes a crisis to switch on that light bulb in our heads. Cherish that experience and much love and strength for you and your family.
Blessings
Bram
Dear Simon
Namaste
Keep on keeping on
Oge
x
Max – I haven’t been following your blog posts, but for some reason that one stood out in my inbox.
Your attitude is so refreshing because God knows you have tasted success on all levels. What you talk about resonates beautifully with what I believe is the greatest lesson for all: to recognize that we are so much more than beings in a skin bag and instead are invited to embrace perfection that always exists in the now.
You are a wonderful teacher, and I think what makes you truly successful is that you walk your talk and are willing to share your ups AND downs with the rest of the world. Thank you for that and keep on appreciating the good and challenging moments in your life – because as you write, it’s all perfect.
Blessings to you, my friend
Lukas
I’m still feeling the energy from being at your conference in San Diego this past weekend flowing. Thank you so much for being who you are, and sharing your precious gifts. While I was there, my absolutely adorable 4 year old nephew Christopher almost died from an allergic reaction to tree nuts while out with his nanny at a friend’s home. She had an epipen, but it misfired – they reached my sister – a pediatric allergist (I so ‘get’ that synchronicity – NO one is our huge family has a peanut allergy). The ambulance arrived, and he was unrecognizable by the time my sister met him at the hospital – it was very SCARY, and made me slow down and appreciate EVERYTHING in this moment. I am learning to practice both – be in the moment AND have a clear vision of what I want to create in my life that I truly want and speaks to my soul. When I’m able to be in both places, I seem to be able to magically manifest my deepest desires. Staying focused on what matters for what I have and what I want to create.
I was just introduced to you by a friend. Love your tribe concept. I am a social entrepreneur with a heart and mind to change the world. I recent met a tribe of millionaires, but their business plan required that I not be true to my moral standards of living. I walked away from the deal and would not compromise. Trusting the Lord for my provision to help people find their purpose in the world especially children who are failing in our schools. Thank you for your heart…I believe that one day I will meet you…not at the tribe level to afford your workshops yet…but God has always given me what I need.
I am a stroke survivor 1/3 of my brain was damaged from a stroke 3 years ago…I am fully functional and baffled the Dr’s and specialist because I lost no function. I arose in 4 days back at work and have been a walking God miracle…but living my life on purpose ever since, like never before.
Dear Lord, bless this amazing family you created. Minds that are designed to challenge the status quo, enlightenment to help people surpass hopelessness…I ask for you healing, I ask for you comfort and peace that surpasses all understanding…appreciation of “right now moments” love that is endless, passion that is unlimited to and knowledge that you are soooo in control of this…bless them physically and financially. In Jesus Name Your friend Yvette
Dear Max,
I so much appreciate your warmth and sincerity. You seem like such a beautiful person – what a blessing for your father in this challenging situation. I am also just writing to say I will be invluding your father in my prayers. Last year I was “standing on the edge” between life and death and even though the sickness that caused my situation was very different, I believe I am still around to embrace people around me and spread the message of love and joy. I hope you can feel that I’m sending lots of it in your direction right now <3!
Warm regards,
Kicki
Funny thing about us humans. We think we need to understand everything with our minds. We don’t. We are simply invited to accept, love, and be. Yes, easier said than done at times, but the joy of surrendering to challenging circumstances and loving ourselves as we traverse through them is priceless. Peace to all.
Morning Max,
So happy to hear the good news about his MRI! I just spent a week in retreat where I had the opportunity to meet you Dad! He is the most generously- heart-felt- inspiring- loving man I have ever met. I am in awe of his courage… much love, light and prayers for him, his family and friends.
Hi Max
Your thoughts are right on target. Years ago I promised myself that I would live each day I had to the fullest and in a way that I would not regret ever. I have found in keeping that promise to myself that whether life proves to be long or short for me it will not matter. My best wishes to you, your father, and all who love him.
I do so believe in living each day to the fullest and your sharing is a reminder to not take life for granted but to say thank you each day for it and the gifts it holds. Thanks for sharing from your heart Max.
This is something I was meant to hear today. To love and truly live into what has already arrived, already been given to me, already been earned, already been birthed. Ah! My intention is to remember this every day from now on.
Blessings to your family, Max!
Hi Max,
Thank you so much for sharing with us Max and being so transparent as you communicate with us. I absolutely loved the conference in San Diego and your powerful message to ‘be the change’ right now.
Live in love, Richard
Dear Max,
I just had a beautiful example of your theme. My husband, after 25 years of being rejected and punished by his parents an solder brother, had retrned back into the lives of his family, and we humbly joined our hearts for this greater good, for over 6 1/2 years. Our children respectfully treated my husbands mother and father with kindness and the high road …. Last week we get a call on St. Patrick’s Day – my very busy senior editor for the huffington post media group’s birthday celebration dinner, that my husband’s mom keep calling his name…she is apparently is near death bed after years of parkinsons and a heart issue no one can treat with her 83 year old frail 60 pound body—.the nurses tell us she feels she made a mistake….then we find out the mistake is she did not include my husband In her will….more p punishment, but an expression of remorse in her less then dynamic state…when asked by her nurses why don’t you change it….she said her other son, would not…had she lived in the truth of the present moment an dnot hold anger, resentment and lived ife in a cold state she may have had and enjoyed the blessings
Of her three grandchildren, who did nothing to this woman or her husband and their estranged uncle..they lived in an illusion to use money, attention and love to hurt another….and we are faced with going to the funeral….it is a three hour drive, and we will go, after much convincing my husband to look at the bird’s eye view of life, to affirm the good and to know that there is always something concealed to be revealed at another momen tin time, not right now, but it will be. It may seem counter-intuitive to attend her funeral for some, but the blessing are abundant when we dance in the. Beauty of this moment, filled with utter potential.
PS….the nurse who heard my husband tell his mom that he was debarred that he learned that he is entitled ot night and not considered a son, quit on the spot..and said, she has mor integrity than to be sharing her time with the kind of energy this woman and her other son had created. Sad. We await her death and will do the beauty of the blessings of being at her farewell from this earthly plane. Somuch more awaiting us all. PURNA— live it all to the fullness of the potential, now!
So glad you can see that and enjoy your ilfe just as it is ..it is the one. You chose and the one to teach you so much more….be certain with uncertainty.
Thanks Max, that’s exactly what I needed to hear today. Just having the word “gratitude” float through my mind makes me feel better.
With gratitude,
Karen
Max, thank you for sharing and inspiring, your light is so bright it almost blinds my unconsciousness. I will continue to grow with your devoted support. My love to you and your incredible father.
Max, Always timely, connected and from the heart. It is like you know what I (we) need to hear. Grateful to you for sharing.
Delighted your Dad is still showing “no growth” (as I’ve been following he and Deepak for years).
Peace, joy and continued good health for each of you. Hugs!
Thank you for your much more contemplative note than your pushy business emails, tender and personal, opening to a different aspect of existence, accepting the treasure we have right now instead of always looking for the greener grass somewhere and somewhen else.
To find balance between going for it and stillness. It feels like a dance between two worlds which seem to be mutually exclusive yet essentially complementary. Being and becoming, the divine and the human in one package. Our deeper task is to reconcile these two, give both the opportunity to express themselves fully in this or any world. This is our personal grand unification, not in theory but in practice.
Once we collectively achieve this state of awareness the Grand Unification will also become visible, allowing us to harness the powers which it reveals. We have been seeking it from the angle of separation. Many scientists-philosophers including Albert Einstein and Bertrand Russell pointed out that solutions cannot be found at the level of the problems, in particular when these problems involve duality and mutually exclusive expressions. What is the common base where particles and waves are joined?
I believe we need to look much deeper beneath and beyond the surface that is visible to our physical senses and instruments to find the answers to these burning questions.
with love and gratitude
André
Max -
What blessed news about your Dad. It is so clear this journey – for him, for you, and for his and your entire tribe/community – is a journey of learning and spiritual growth for all of us.
Deep thanks for both your Dad and you for being such bright lights of truth throughout this experience – so all of us could learn the lessons with you.
Yes, all of us in your tribe know we are here to create, and we move boldly (and sometimes impatiently) toward those high visions – while it is just as important to creation to honor the “now” … that is the essence of creative tension – to honor both what is and what can be … in that, we remember and reunite the human and the divine.
Blessings, love & LIGHT,
Julie Ann
Thanks for the love!!
Max I wanted to say thank you for sharing your experience with us. Meeting you this last weekend and experiencing your gifts and ability to create something special was amazing. I used my gift and when I saw your energy I was moved. I felt the pain you have about the hunger yet I felt where you are going on you path. This hunger and passion and how you reach out and connect and have built this truly inspirational tribe of enlightened entrepreneurs is a step for you on this journey. I was reminded of myself at one point and I realized that I recognized the shift. You are creating and have that hunger and the peace and calmness of the moment you have learned to cultivate with it. Things are evolving for you and will continue to do so at such a beautiful pace. I have so much gratitude for you just being you. Your father is in my prayers and I am sure energy from other healers is being channeled to him as well.
You have a gift of creating programs that inspire the power of wealth in others, and you hold them accountable to the idea of cultivating internal wealth and being in alignment with their heart. This service and skill you offer alone is one of the greatest values you have. Never have I met such a passionate man so ahead of his time and able to help others manifest the value of their hearts. I feel that you’ll be finding some calm and peace to this inner hunger of yours sooner then later. I felt a change going on with in you this last weekend. Your creativity and meditation will be tested and bring about an entirely new place for you in you heart. I am confident that you will find something new and unexpected.
You have my gratitude, love and support. Looking forward to engaging with more of your events and product.
In light and love,
David Anderson
Prayers for you and your family, Max! Thanks for sharing this message. I agree with this “eternal truth” and constantly work to spread it to all I meet. Blessings to you today and everyday!
Thanks for sharing, it was inspiring and motivating. To be in the Now is something we never can be reminded of too many times, so thanks for reminding me!
Also, Good Luck to your whole family!
I have also been through many challenging experiences. That is why I wrote and posted on my fridge the following, “Do What You Can, When You Can!” It seems to fit every situation in the present. It helps me make decisions when I know this time will not present again in the very same way or situation. I wish you and your family well.
Jean
Hi Max
Hi Max
I attended a Workshop with your dad, Healing the Heart, in 2005 in Carlsbad, CA. It was great, and he was amazing in the 3 day workshop. Little did I know the healing of my heart that would be required, and still is , when a year later my younger sister was diagnosed with lymphoma and passed away at age 39 in 2007. A lot of changes have come from that experience, including lessons on living life to the fullest, taking risks now, and appreciated who you’ve got. All the best to you and your family.
Shelley
Max,
Such an important dual message…in my words:
1. Love the present moment with full appreciation for what is timeless–Love..
2. Keep envisioning, enjoying, and creating into your future.
It’s a beautiful balance of focus.
P.S. Just completed your course and loved it. Thanks, mary
Hi Max, I’ve been there so know how truly Great this news is:D long may this continue!
Such a shame we have to either have or experience cancer to really get it.
Wow, Max sharing your experience with us is eye opening. The reminder that we move with rapid speed “forgetting the gifts that sit right in front of us”. Most importantly, you have CREATED this space for all of us to learn, to read, to apply and to appreciate” NOW”. Your love and dedication for your father is beautiful to read and that he is doing well.
Last weekend, you shared so many wonderful awakenings for me (and all the others). I returned from my long flight like i was floating…in happiness, with clarity, breathing and fulfilled. You were able to help me bring that back into my life. At the conference, I have met amazing people that will be in my life forever… because you created it!. Your coaching skills is a gift to me and to those whose lives you touch.
I cherish you, your personal growth and what you share. You have my energetic support and of course my many hugs! I feel you. Jane
Max,
I appreciate your honesty and openness to share something so intimate as the ordeal your father is going thorough. I think it’s safe to say that we were all shocked. With David’s storied background and knowledge of holistic medicine and meditation etc, that something like this would not be dealt from the pack of cards. Well, the mysteries of life keep us awake ! Your are providing a beautiful gift through the act of giving your love and time so that we may all….stop and wonder where we are in our life. All we need is now !!!
Amen!
Such golden good gracious news! I know a thing or 2 about ‘dealing’, and how crazy life can become in a holy instance. Holding y’all – and the situation – in Mega Light. Big fat love, Maria
Max,
This is the best yet, you finally sound like “us” and not the “expert” you want to be. I see so much of myself in this blogpost. I just got out of the hospital diagnosed with bladder tumor, at 64 this is the 1st intense hospital experience.What I find is what you find, namely, that this present moment is all there really is. It is the pain and discomfort that is a bitch! But that only lasts awhile as it is one of those temporary things, pain is. But what does our life mean if we die? What legacy do we leave the world or do we have one? These are questions that the ego toys with more and more as we get older. But still here and now; even balanced, centered, peaceful and happy is not enough…I keep wanting to share the experience with others, a sunset can be so much sweeter with another. and the real kicker is I do not remember unconsciousness… i just wake up again, and it is fine until it isn’t, until it is uncomfortable — then I wrestle with the temporary distraction again. Is there anything else? hmmm… maybe another point of view?
Deal
Max, It was such a pleasure to meet you, your team and the Affiliate Tribe this past weekend. I am truely Blessed that I was a part of your event. I am so VERY HAPPY to hear of the “no growth” of the brain tumor that your dad is experiencing. I have a cousin whose daughter (she is about your age) has been experiencing brain cancer for the past 2 years. The love and faith of her and her family is such a gift and testiment to others.
With Love and Prayers,
God Bless You, Your Father and Your Family
Namaste’
Connie
Your words hit home for me today Max. I am recovering from a brain injury that I never saw coming. A year ago, I was in love, happier than ever, and ready to launch my workshops and go public in a big way. A sailing accident has taken all that away, including my love, and has left me unable to function, or drive, and serve in any way other than to receive. It has humbled me to my core and taught me a deep surrender and wondering what God has in store for me through this. You are so right, we NEVER know what life has in store for us, Enjoy the NOW! It is all there is.
Love, Nathalie
My Dearest Max,
Thank you for blessing us with your honesty and vulnerability. THere is a book I would really love for you to read, and let me know if it changes you in any way. I would also be interested in any feedback from any of your other friends and fans after reading this same book. It’s called “Defy Gravity: Healing Beyond the Bounds of Reason” by Caroline Myss. I think half way through the introduction I had a monumental shift in understanding!
Bliss-ings max!
Namaste,
Krisna
YES! Max, this is so true. Why do we wait to be grateful or present until chaos & crisis hits? This is a wonderful reminder to enjoy now, be so thankful NOW…
Moved to Vashon Island, WA but still following your journey & it’s a pleasure. Take care…
Thank you!
Dearest Max,
We are connected by only a few degrees of separation…(Lisa, Ronnie, etc.)
I just wanted to say that I have walked beside both my parents and some friends as you are walking beside your father. You all have been in my thoughts and meditations in this past year.
Thank you for sharing your heart and truth and reminding us to do the same no matter where we are or what we are going through. You are not alone, none of us are! Thank you for bringing us along with you! May we meet again soon to share a heartfelt hug!
From My Heart to Yours, Sara
Hi, Max!
Please give my best wishes and highest regards to your father. I am happy to hear that he is doing well.
One thing I learned many, many years ago is that understanding often means acceptance. I used to complain about all sorts of things in life, using that well-wron phrase, “I don’t understand!” One day, God’s wee small voice finally said clearly to me that I must accept the way things are, and that they are that way for a reason, even if I can’t see it.
The hardest thing for any of us to deal with is the end of life, but if we truly have a spiritual faith, we have to come to terms with the meaning of death. In my belief, death is just a passing back to being fully in Spirit, and a temporary one at that. We are all infinite spiritual beings, and we have an infinite number of life experiences to do whatever we want, to learn and grow. God is always with us, never separated from us, and loves us unconditionally. Though it’s hard to think about the death of a loved one, always know that that person, and yourself, are always in God’s hands. Live fully, which you and your father are obviously doing, and never fear returning to God’s absolute realm for rest and reflection before the next life experience.
Peace, love and joy, my friend!
Kerry
I have been trampled by health issues and now financial distress while trying to promote natural health. Trying to keep positive thoughts and work on computer skills. I know my goal is positive to save the world from chemical destruction. God Bless your beloved father, as a RN and most recently hospice I pray the very best for all.
Dad had brain tumor (surgery) then 5 years later another one (surgery) then passed 1 1/2 years later. Father & Mother lived in my home – Father 1 1/2 years and then Mother the next 1 1/2 years with Leukemia. 24/7 caregiver to both. Learned many things – but here is the topper. Mother never said “I love you” it was always me too after me saying that I loved her first. 3 months before she passed she leaned forward and said “you know I love you don’t you?” I said yes mom. After she passed we lost our home in foreclosure/bankruptcy/and repossession of 2 cars because I stayed home to take care of them. Lesson I learned is joy comes to those who have patience and things can be recreated again from nothing.
Deal. Enough said.
Dear Max, I will pray for your dad and his family. Very sweet clip from your documentary.
Synchronicity is a funny thing. I am finishing up my self help educational documentary for people with cancer. Larry LeShan’s work is the heart of my film. Larry is 90 right now. He had over 50% of his patients diagnosed with terminal cancer live longer than 10 years. He pioneered this work in the 1950′s and 1960″s while working with Revicci, MD.
If I can be of help email me RobertJokel@aol.com (I spent the past fifteen years learning from and teaching with Dr. LeShan.
Dear Max,
May God help your Dad recover from the illness; it’s heartening to know that there has not been any growth from the original scan.I agree with you that we should be immensely grateful for the wonderful life and numerous blessings that we enjoy every day.
I’m so touched by these lessons learned and honored that you share your journey around your Dad’s health, which is another spiritual journey. My prayers are with you and your Dad.
Many blessings,
Rhonda
Thank you for sharing this very personal experience with all of us. Sending light, love, and healing to your Dad, you and the rest of your family. Much love, Lori
thank you once again for taking the time to share your personal experience with us. Blessings to you and your family!