Do you live in FEAR of the "Opt-Out"?
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Oh man do I have a powerful and controversial lesson to share with you today.
It’s about your fear of “the opt out”… and the cold hard truth about it.
Just in case you don’t know what an opt-out is…
An opt-out is an action someone takes who has subscribed to your newsletter in the past but they decided that they don’t want to hear from you anymore and thus they “opt-out” or un-subscribe.
Basically… they’re saying that you’re wasting their time and they don’t want YOU taking up any more space in their life because what you’re contributing isn’t adding value any more.
Ouch.
Now if you think I’m being harsh… it’s because I am.
But I’m doing it to prove a point…. Because this is what people think is happening when someone opt’s out from their list.
They take it very personal. They get upset. They feel worried that they said something wrong. They go into a tailspin of negative self-talk and remorse…
Essentially… people get genuinely freaked out by an opt-out.
… and it’s totally UN-NECESSARY!
Here comes the truth engine to rear it’s POSITIVE head…
First, let me tell you that on EVERY single email I send to my list, I get between .2-.5% opt-out.
Meaning… about 1 person out of every 200 or so on my list is going to opt-out no matter what I send to them.
And just to prove a point, let me tell you a story.
When my dad was going in for brain surgery and I sent out a super quick note asking for everyone to just keep him in their prayers so that we had “collective support”… 35 people opted-out.
And 7 people didn’t just opt-out… they COMPLAINED!!
So you might be thinking…
That’s understandable. Max’s note about his dad had nothing to do with business so people might feel like it’s just cluttering up their inbox.
But here’s the thing…
I’ve sent out notes giving away FREE hour long videos jam packed with money making guidance and wisdom. Stuff people invested thousands of dollars to purchase.
… and I had the exact same experience. People still opted-out!
So now the important question is…
Why do people opt-out?
And the answer to that is simple…
1) Most people are overwhelmed.
2) Most people get too much email.
3) Most people are over-stimulated.
4) Most people just don’t need any “more” stuff.
And does that make YOU a bad person for sending them an email? Does that make you wrong for sharing your message? Does that mean your business is going to crash and burn when people opt-out?
The answer to all of those questions is no.
Stop Worrying…
That is my advice to you around feeling worried and concerned around people unsubscribing.
The “bigger” you get… the more it’s going to happen. Just accept it and be ok with it.
Some people will decide you are not right for them at this time… and that’s cool. You’ll live.
Some people will leave, come back, leave again, and come back again. It’s happened to me many times in my business.
And some people will become your loyal die-hard fans, love your controversial messages, buy everything you offer, and tell all their friends about you.
Speak to those people. Focus on your tribe. Lead them…
It’s much easier to stay excited, engaged, and creative when you’ve got YOUR people in mind.
But whatever you do… keep speaking your truth. Keep sharing your message. Keep confronting people. And keep doing the work you love.
Because if you stop speaking up just because you’re afraid of a few people leaving your email list… you’re destined to stay small.
… And that doesn’t serve you, your tribe, or the world.
What do you think? Do you agree? Disagree? Let’s start a conversation here. Please Share Your Thoughts Below!
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Thank you for the reminder and the lesson about not letting the “little stuff” keep us from moving forward.
Hi Max & 6-figure Path Classmates,
Just a check-in to say I am on vacation celebrating my daughters birthday & her new job as a Mom soon! And my new job of Grandma! Been putting out my business at a business fair – very successful with the star of my offerings being the NotSpeedDating (Speed dating with a twist – instead of just question & answer, myself and my co-facilitator lead emotional intimacy-building activities & games). People seem to really like that it gives them a chance to check out the chemistry with their 7 minute partner! Everybody seems to be hugely enthused by it for themselves or to tell their single friends. So we will be having the first event in August instead of September! Other opportunities have also arisen! I can’t wait to get back into it later in July.
All the best to all.
In Spirit,
Jan
That sounds like so much fun, Jan! It must be so helpful for your clients. I used to teach golf and playing lessons were in demand. When you are actually on the course seeing how they handle themselves, you can do some great coaching! Great idea and thanks for sharing! Keep us updated, so to speak…
Much Love,
Catherine
Thank you Max for your wonderful insight~ I am a devoted fan! Rock on !
I always consider that I don’t really know why they have opted out – it could be for any number of reasons (ie. it could be that they have a more preferred email addy for your great stuff to be sent to) always choosing the better feeling thought keeps me focused and not worrying about these little things.
We never really know. Read Jenny’s story below. It’s an AWESOME example of how our minds get the best of us… haha. THANKS FOR SHARING!! Much love, Max
The first time someone opted out from my list it was a friend. I spend *hours* feeling awful about it. I went through the emails I’d sent out, suffered over what I could have said or done to cause this person to unsubscribe….then gave up and went on Twitter for some distraction. There I found a DM from this friend explaining they were changing email addresses and would re-subscribe with their new one. DOH!
I felt so silly and decided then and there to not take opt outs personally ever again. What a colossal waste of energy (something we are all in short supply of). My list continues to grow and, as a natural result, I have some unsubscribes each time I send out a mailing. And it’s OK!
haha… what a GREAT story Jenny. Thanks for sharing… haha… this is great. much love, Max
Hi Jenny,
I can relate! I have had friends opt out too but I remind myself that I do the same thing. I opt out for awhile from most lists just to keep my email situation under control. Now I just say to myself, I am glad they are going, I only want people who are drawn to my information, the rest can go.
Thanks for sharing your story,
Much Love,
Catherine
I’m not sure where I recently heard this (maybe it was you?) but someone was talking about how you really don’t want all that dead weight in your list anyway. If people aren’t interested enough to open your email (because they’re overwhelmed or whatever) then it doesn’t do you any good to have them there taking up space.
It’s funny because I recently rebranded myself and in so doing, moved my mailing list to MailChimp. A bunch of people unsubscribed at first (which was fine, but felt…weird). But now I’m getting 5 to 10 new subscribers a day and rarely the unsubscribe. Makes me think I need to go in and do some housecleaning to find those last remaining few who never open the darn things. If we have to pay for the size of our list, then our list should be as clean as it can be.
By the way, I also will — on occasion — opt out of other lists I’m on, just because I recognize that that particular thing isn’t for me. But I do send the folks some positive energy while I’m doing it. Having your own list makes you more aware of how other folks might feel when you opt out from theirs.
p.s. – Glad your dad is okay!
Right! People who leave just aren’t right for your tribe at this time. Maybe they will be in the future. Maybe they won’t. Regardless… it’s all good. THANK YOU for sharing. Great comments… Much love, Max
Great topic Max. The moment we start taking ANYTHING personally, we put a roadblock on our spiritual path. I opt out too. It is all of what you said—so much coming at us, being out of alignment, and all the rest. I agree to focus on the tribe you are reaching and inspiring. This is not about the myth of scarcity, but about the workings of the Universal Laws. There is enough, no matter what anyone does.
That does not mean I don’t now and then have an ouch. Just gives me an opportunity to affirm what I just said.
Thank you for your continued questioning of these tendencies we all have.
Hi, I enjoyed your post. I have been opting out of a number of lists (I think I even opted out of this one) because I changed my email address. There are a few that I have resubscribed to and some I did not.
Here’s the thing, Max is correct when he says people are overwhelmed. I am just starting to set up my own business and have done months and months of research. I signed up for a lot of information but it has gotten to the point where I don’t even have time to read them all. It’s not that I don’t want to read them, I just can’t. So I’m paring down to the very essential emails I want to receive.
Since I will be doing newsletters and email marketing in my new business, I will keep this in mind when people decide to opt-out of my list and you should also. It’s not that people don’t like what you are sending – they just don’t have the time in their so busy lives.
Have a wonderful, blessed day!
Great attitude Georgean. I think the key is to remember that people opt-in for all sorts of reasons and the same when they opt-out… so there’s no need to take it personally. THANK YOU for sharing… great thoughts. Much love, Max
Hi Max,
Amen. I used to take opt-outs on my small list very personally. I used to be offended and hurt that people would sign up for my freebie and then never even bother to open one ezine to see if they like it.
I only email 1-3x a month so I never overwhelm people – I probably write too infrequently! Now my attitude has changed dramatically. If someone doesn’t resonate with me or my stuff I’m glad they unsubscribe. I wish the 500 people who never open my emails would unsubscribe too. They use up my free allotment and frustrate me with low open rates. Sometimes I’m tempted to send an email that says – UNSUBSCRIBE PLEASE!!
The truth is – I try to write heart-felt, value packed newsletters. I want to get a little personal (thanks for sharing about your dad) and form relationships with my ‘tribe’.
I don’t just want to be a ‘taker’ on the lists I’m on. So sometimes I do unsubscribe from lists when I’m overwhelmed by too many emails (send me three emails a day and unless I love you, you’re gone) and or it just isn’t a match for me. I don’t want to cost someone more money if I’m not participating in any way.
I do read most emails people send (unless they overwhelm me) and I comment at least sometimes, that’s my way of giving something back. I know how much it means to me when someone takes a minute to write a few words on my blog or reply to my email so I don’t feel like I’m just talking to myself.
Thanks for sharing. Val
Hey Val. I have a “challenge” for you. Consider writing a note that CONFRONTS people. It’s a scary thing to do. But the people who love you will appreciate you even more for speaking your truth. And the people who don’t want to “PAY ATTENTION” will drop off… it’s a great step! If you do it… let us know how it goes! THANKS FOR SHARING!! Much love, Max
I am just starting out in my offline marketing biz. I will keep this in mind as I build my list. Thank You Max!
Oh, you’re absolutely right on! It’s just the numbers. If you talked to 16,000 people on the street in a day (if that were possible) you’d get the same response or worse.
In my business (end-of-life care) people won’t even opt in at the rate they would for another topic. haha! Folks are uncomfortable and such life events are a more personal than many people are willing to take on.
BUT it looks like you got a compassionate tribe, Max. The few that opted out and even fewer that complained…they just can’t see yet.
Why would you worry about that? Having them to deal with takes away energy, so good they opted out
Great point, Virginia.
Thank you for what you do. It takes a special soul to serve like you do. We appreciate you. Thanks for sharing. Much Love, Catherine
alot of times its because newsletters tend to project messages and news of your own personal successes.
and sometimes when you’re life is going as well, hearing about some else’s success can be nauseating…so you unsubscribe.
no big deal, but its a great opportunity to look at our own insecurities.
MARTIN!!! Man… crazy to hear you say this because every time I read your newsletter, I’m always like: “HOLY SH*T! Martin is doing so well!!”
Everyone… make sure to click on Martin’s link in his profile to see the MOST AMAZING photography of all times. No joke… this guy is at the TOP of his game! Stunning stuff…
Hi Max,
far from it – the most liberating thing I’ve done so far (based on what I’d learnt from you in the Affiliate’s Tribe programme) was to target my niche and send an email ASKING PEOPLE TO OPT_OUT – if they weren’t parents or wanting parenting help !
It was a bit hairy as then my email provider closed me down automatically I discovered you are only allowed a certain percentage of opt-outs before it looks like you might be spamming people and I was re-instated when I explained my strategy was to ask people to opt out – I genuinely wanted them to !
Now I’m really sure that the people who have stayed really want to hear from me and I always put “I’m delighted that unsubcribing is very easy – just click this button and thank you”
and since my opt-out campaign I notice very few people have….
cheers from scotland
xxKathy
So amazing Kathy! and great to hear from you… THANK YOU for sharing your story. It’s very inspiring to other members of the tribe… Much love, Max
Very similar story to others here. When I got my first “opt out” I felt like I was losing ALL my clients….in reality, the ones that “opt out” I was likely never going to do business with anyway, they weren’t really interested in my business, were not in my “tribe”, weren’t going to be in my “tribe”. With them on my list and not wanting to be, they might be more likely to not be happy with me or my business. Now, I really think that someone “opting out” of my list is a good thing. Kinda strange, maybe, but that is now the way I look at it.
It is kind of weird when you start thinking so differently than you did before… right? I’m noticing that happening a lot in my business these days… are you? THANK YOU for sharing!! Much love. Max
You are such a delight, Max:)! Perhaps we all ought to speak our truths and SHARE and whomever wishes to share with us, be GRATEFUL ! Actually more appreciate our audience just the way they are and the way they are not.
So happy to have seen that pix of your dad after surgery. Thank YOU for sharing!
Tonya
I just wanted to say that I really appreciate you Max. Your no nonsense yet authentic and compassionate approach really resonates with me. Thank you not just for this post but for all of them.
I really FEEL your energy and gratefulness in this note Justine. Thank you so much. I’m honored to have you in this tribe… Much love, Max
I’m so thirsty for stuff…..but, here’s the thing. I’ve opted-out of sites because I feel badly for not having taken a forward step. I have tremendous respect for you Max because you are DOING it.I’d opt out because I wouldn’t feel right wasting YOUR time with my fears and indecision.
I felt the request to keep your Dad in our prayers and thoughts made you even more genuine. Association and attitude are everything. I appreciate having access to leaders like you. You help me hold on to hope!
Fear of rejection stops so many people from even TRYING to sell or stops them from continuing to sell. You have sent out a very timely reminder and great alternative reasons for people opting out. I blogged about “The QTIP” last week – Quit Taking It Personally – and it’s so true. We take it personally and always in a negative way, and then talk ourselves out of taking the action we know meets our needs! I’ve often opted out of something saying to myself “this is really valuable info but I’m just not taking the time to read it.” It’s never personal towards the writer. So BIG THANKS Max!
I love that! The QTIP… how great. Thanks for sharing!! Much love, Max
You stay just the way you are!!! I love the honesty of your your posts and the updates on your dad. If you didn’t post it, how in the heck would I know to send energy healing to him and to pray for him and your family?
Thanks for being Max!
I can’t believe how timely this message has been for me! My heart just drops every time I’ve gotten an “unsubscribe” notice. And I’ve wondered what I was doing “wrong.”
Then I realized that I’ve been feeling completely overwhelmed with all the mail I’ve been getting in my own mailbox for stuff I thought might be a fit for me but isn’t and I started opting out – and realized that this is probably why people are unsubscribing from me as well. With that realization, I quit feeling badly about my unsubscribes and feel like I’m truly serving those who are choosing to stay with me.
Thank you for talking about this subject, Max. It has been really helpful knowing that others have the same fears and concerns with their email lists as I have had. This is one of the things that I really like about being part of your tribe – the close look at all kinds of different problems we all face as we build our business.
Michelle… I can really feel your genuine desire to learn and growth with this tribe. Tell me… what else are you struggling with or confronted by these days? Tell me your answer and I’ll make another post addressing it… Much love, Max
Hi MIchelle,
I know what you mean! I have been following the following system off and on for awhile. I finally decided to go on for good and it is really helping. Michael Hyatt of Thomas Nelson Publishers had a great blog on leadership. Here is his email solution:
http://michaelhyatt.com/yes-you-can-stay-on-top-of-email.html
Good Luck!
Much Love,
Catherine
Considering that I’m an organizer by profession, I’m always happy when my readers take the initiative, discover they have too much stuff, and take action to eliminate it. In fact, many of my unsubscribes write to say they’re doing just that — and assure me it’s not personal. I have the nicest subscribers!
What does get to me is when people write snarky comments about the value of my work. I got this comment with an unsubscribe once: “I found the free e-book lacking in originality with nothing of substance to offer.” Ouch. I stewed on that one for about and hour, licked my wounds, and realized how miserable I would have been had she taken a class with me. Better to have her leave now.
Thanks for addressing this topic. How we feel about our interactions with clients affect how we feel about our work. Exploring strategies for managing those feelings really helps!
Haha…. first off, you do have the NICEST unsubscribers of all times! And secondly… just so you can hear it from me… you wouldn’t believe the nasty things people say to me too. I had one person write in to say: “If I was Dr. David Simon’s son, I’d have everything handed to me on a golden platter too.” OUCH!! haha… now it makes me laugh. Much love, Max
OMG you are speaking to me!!! I needed to see this, and hear this message from you! I tell myself over and over what you’re telling me and some days I’m okay, and other days, it still freaks me out. I am too much of a people pleaser and I have to stop that! It is keeping me small. I am going to keep that number in mind (.2 to .5%). Sometimes I feel it is better to stop paying so much attention to opt-outs, and pay more attention to opt-ins! Thanks again Max!
You said something so profound Lori. Focus on the people who respond, comment, open, etc. That is your tribe! Thanks for sharing… Much love!
Thanks for the info Max! I only recently got introduced to you and I really like your authenticity
I’m going to start build my first big list within a short time and remembering these things is certainly something that can save lots of energy.
But I also want to comment on the view of the un-subscriber. As this is just as important I think. As many, including myself, usually feel a bit bad about unsubscribing. Honestly I think there a MANY people who are still subscribed to many lists ONLY because they feel bad for the owners of the list if they unsubscribe. And that’s when people end up with an inbox of 1000 unread messages etc.
I had to be tough in this area and now I unsubscribe to everything that is not 100% aligned with my goals and absolutely essential information almost every time. As subscribers it’s important to be tough and cold sometimes as well. Not just as the list owner
(hope your dad is doing good now!)
Christian,
You made some good points here. Even with applying filters on my emails, it still takes me hours to go through them each day.
Max,
Such a great article. This would have been great years ago when I started building my email list and got some unsubscribes and was devastated.
I now know not to worry, in fact, I am somewhat happy when people unsubscribe because it means the are at least opening my emails and taking some type of action. I only want people on my list that I can help and want to take action on improving their lives.
Thanks for the great article and reminder!
Garrett
Great article, Max.
I found your request for support of your dad very touching.
The story about complaining and unsubscribing is so absurd. It inspires me to never ever feel bad about unsubscribers!
I’m about to launch my inbox magazine. This conversation is very helpful. Just setting up my AWeber account has been fascinating !
I think that some people click on the Opt-Out by default, not really giving it much consideration.
Actually I love getting newsletters, but I’ve learned to filter them. I use GMail and you can archive emails including newsletters for future reads. They provide a lot of information that I plan to use for researching my inbox magazine articles. I never see them until I’m ready. They’re programmed to SKIP the INBOX but also NEVER DELETE ( until I do manually ).
Hi Max
Great post, and some great advice here. Its our damn precious ego’s that feel unloved when someone opts out. We all put so much of ourselves into our content, that when someone rejects us, we feel less worthy.
Of every person that opts out, 3 more opt-in, so its also a good idea to focus on that statistic instead of that one that might just be having a bad day and you were in front of them at the time. You never know what is going on in people’s lives and what drive’s their decisions.
Ego will take it personally, but I like to use the affirmation – “What other people think of me, is none of my business.” Then get on and do what I love and do best. Serving.
Well said Jeremy. I like your style… Much love, Max
Thanks Max, such a timely message for me. I have played small so long, it feels natural. I am moving forward and growing, I just have to get my wheels. Your information helps, again just putting it into action.
Hope your Dad is improving daily.
Lots of love to you.
Great post, Max! After a few years in the email/IM customer service and tech support world I learned that our brains, being the hungry meaning-making machines they are, fill in the blanks in any communication and emails and IMs leave a lot of blanks! Tone, gesture, pacing, etc. Finally I took a page from Byron Katie and strive to practice Literal Listening when dealing with communications via text modalities. I read what is said as a literal statement with no other meaning attached.
“X unsubscribed from your list.”
All that means is that X unsubscribed from your list. Nothing more.
Adopting this stance has made me a much more pleasant person to be around in a work environment.
Cheers!
I love “The Work”. I use it daily. Thank you for sharing it with this tribe. It’s true… we make meaning out of things that mean nothing! Much love, Max
I love the distinction between an opt-in and an active participant…prompted me to ask myself if I was more concerned with the “number” of my list or the quality?? Recently watched a video posted by someone who brags about their list of 150,000 plus and then noticed only 400 views…and it had been up for about 3 weeks!! I think I’ll take quality! Great article Max…glad I didn’t opt-out (Ha Ha!)
Haha! Glad you didn’t opt-out either.
A side story. In many of the circles I’m in, I have the smallest list (about 17,000). Yet these blogs, campaigns, and events have MORE engagement, MORE people, and are getting BETTER numbers. So it’s definitely not the size of the list. It’s all about how CONNECTED you are to your tribe and the people you serve.
Thanks for sharing!! Much love, Max
Thank you, Max! As always, your message came at the perfect time. I’m just starting out and let my first unsubscribe ruin a whole day as I agonized over what I had done wrong and what a failure I was. It can be crazy what we assume another person must be thinking about us. Thank you for helping me to refocus on serving. I hope your dad continues to feel better.
well said. if we’re not serving a person at that particular time, what’s the point anyway?best wishes and blessings to you and your dad, and thanks for keeping your communication real.
Loved your post, Max! You remind me to share a little bit of personal..it makes us real. Sorry to hear about your dad. You are right. Don’t take it personal. I’ve grown to get a tough skin. Really we only want the people who relate. My friend Joyce Meyers says 10% of the people don’t like you …so get over it! All the best, Max.
10% seems LOW! haha…
My friend Alexis Neely once said: “If you’re not pissing people off… you’re not playing a big enough game.”
Thanks for sharing! Much love, Max
Some will, some won’t, so what, NEXT!!
I totally get this Max and appreciate you sharing this. When my subscribers opted out I did ask the same questions and thought that it’d be interesting to know why they did. To get out of that down feeling one of the things I do is remind myself that I’ve served my purpose in their lives and if needed our paths will cross again.
I have wondered if other marketers face this and I’m thankful that you’ve shared this. I know I’m not alone. I can keep pressing forward and as you say – focus on the tribe.
Well done Max this is so good to know. This is something I will bare in mind when I get my
list up and running. When we shop for our groceries, we all have favourite brands and foods etc. Yet once in a while we opt in to try something different and sometimes are pleasantly surprised. I don’t opt out on most of my mail I quickly look through to see the header and decide to open or not. This is a change from what I used to do in opening everything. This way I don’t get overwhelmed.
I loved that you asked for us to send wishes and prayers to your Father it made me feel more a part of a connection to what you are promoting and a your tribe / family…..I hope he is recovering nicely. Love and Light to all Bronwyn
I totally agree with your thoughts and insights Max. Over the 15+ years in business, I’ve learned that we can’t, nor should we want to, meet everyones needs all of the time. It’s virtually impossible and if we keep our intentions pure in that we want to help as many people as we can that are in a place to recognize and receive what we have to offer, then we’ve done our part in making this world a better place. There’s the old adage, “You can’t please all of the people, all of the time” and you’ll just burn out trying, to the detriment of those who are ready for what you have to offer. As I’m just about to embark on my second business (solo this time), I’ll keep your many insights and learnings top of mind as I create my “connections” company, weaving people together for their mutual benefit. Keep up the great work (I’m a newbie and thrilled ot have been told about you) and all the best to your Dad and family.
Thanks Max. I choose to follow your wise advice and whatever happens, I focus on my tribe and share with them my truth and my message. In that way, I can continue to do what I love to do!
Max, I had to clear 2,972 emails from my inbox before my road trip from Ohio to Texas.I realized that if I didn’t opt-out, I would return to the same problem. I re-subscribed to your letter because your story and your “Much Love” signature is very courageous. I don’t have a list yet, and I’m preparing myself for ‘something’ brain-wise. When I get a list, I’ll understand. Thanks and Much Love, Mary
Hi Max
Another trigger for when I’ve sometimes opted out of lists is because I’ve somehow got myself subscribed to the same list more than once – and so I’m getting 2 or 3 copies of the same email!
Perhaps I’ve used different email addresses – or what I’ve noticed is that you have to give your name and email for various videos etc. even if I’m already a subscriber to the email newsletter – so the sender ends up thinking their list is larger than they think it is (because the same person is on it more than once) and the reader ends up with multiple copies of the same email – doh! And eventually they may get round to opting out of the duplications …
so they havent’ really left the list at all – just decluttering duplications
Is their any way of getting round having to resubscribe every time there’s a new video or new promotion? Or if you stick to the same email address should the system recognise you’re already on it and ensure you don’t get multiple copies?
Or is that still beyond the scope of current technology and do we have to keep opting in and opting out again each time?
Max I get your emails twice – the Simon Twins! Double Vision!
Yes I used to get upset when people left. I took it personally and now I realise those who stay are genuinely interested in my stuff, or confused and can’t find the unsuscribe button
A good email tidy up is essential every now and then otherwise it gets too cluttered and overwhelming.
This is interestingly true.